The Benefits of Choosing Reflection Over Resolutions
By Yolande Clark-Jackson
As the end of 2023 approaches, many of us have our sights on our goals for 2024. For some, creating vision maps, setting goals and making resolutions has become a tradition for the start of a new year. However, the traditional approach of setting resolutions often falls short, leading to frustration and feelings of failure. Instead of focusing on resolutions, consider the power of reflection as an alternative approach.
The Downfalls of Traditional Resolutions
One of the primary drawbacks of resolutions is their lack of sustainability. Studies show that the majority of people abandon their resolutions within a few weeks or months. Unrealistic goals and high expectations set us up for failure, leaving us feeling discouraged and unmotivated. Additionally, resolutions can negatively impact our mental health, as the pressure to achieve them can lead to stress, anxiety, and self-criticism when we fall short.
The Power of Reflection
“Reflecting allows us to develop grace towards ourselves. Rather than becoming overcome with guilt and shame for not achieving the financial goals, or maybe that relationship goal never materialized in 2023, holding these disappointments with grace allows us to be kind with ourselves and reflect on what we could do differently in 2024,” says Dr. Christiana Ibilola Awosan, licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Ibisanmi Relational Health.
Instead of setting resolutions, consider embracing reflection as a more effective approach.
Reflection involves taking the time to assess and analyze our experiences, thoughts, and emotions. It also allows us to sit in gratitude for the people and experiences in our lives and see how far we have come. As a result, we can gain self-awareness and promote personal growth, allowing us to make more informed decisions and set more meaningful goals in the future instead.
By reflecting, we gain clarity and focus. We can better understand our strengths and weaknesses, identify patterns, and determine what truly matters to us. With this introspective knowledge, we can set more realistic and achievable goals that align with our values and priorities.
Reflection also improves our overall well-being. It reduces stress and anxiety by helping us process and make meaning out of past experiences. Awosan adds that reflection also “allows us to slow down to not only imagine possible solutions, it allows us to envision alternative ways to relate to our goals and visions.”
Moreover, reflection fosters a positive mindset and self-compassion, as we learn to acknowledge our growth and celebrate our successes, regardless of whether they align with traditional resolutions.
Practical Tips for Effective Reflection
To incorporate reflection into your life, establish a routine. Set aside a specific time and place for reflection, free from distractions. Utilize tools like journaling or meditation to aid the process.
Ask yourself meaningful questions during reflection.
Reflect on past experiences and lessons learned. Awosan suggests the list of questions below to help you get started:
What have been your greatest achievements and challenges?
What values and priorities have become apparent?
What are the resources within yourself and in your relationships that allowed you to achieve the goals and wins of 2023?
Name at least two challenges that got in the way of your goals this year?
In what ways do you hope to have a better relationship with these two challenges in 2024?
Such questions can help unlock insights and guide your future decision-making.
3. Lastly, use reflection to set intentional goals. Take the insights gained during reflection and translate them into actionable steps and timelines. By setting goals that are aligned with your values and priorities, you are more likely to achieve them and experience fulfillment along the way.
Choosing reflection over resolutions can transform your approach to personal growth and goal setting. Embrace reflection as a practice that promotes self-awareness, clarity, and overall well-being. By taking the time to reflect, you not only make space to give yourself grace, but you give yourself the opportunity to set meaningful goals that resonate with your values, leading to a more fulfilling and successful journey. Let reflection be your guiding force as you navigate the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.
If you feel you need additional guidance to work through this process, you can reach out to any therapist on our team. Ibisanmi Relational Health therapists are trained and skilled professionals who provide a holistic approach to helping you achieve your personal and relationship goals.
You can be sure you’ll receive culturally affirming guidance suited for your unique situation. Book a 15-minute consultation here.
