How Black Men Can Stress Less and Live Longer:
An expert provides tips on how to change the tide
By Yolande Clark-Jackson
We don't generally think of all the stressors of being both Black and male in America. From societal expectations and disproportionate health risk factors to threats of harm and discrimination, Black men encounter a myriad of stressors on a daily basis. And when Black men are primary caregivers, brothers, uncles, husbands, fathers, and/or heads of households the amount of stress they encounter can be compounded.
Black maleness in the US is often connected to stereotypes and assumptions, and cultural norms can compound why some men may avoid addressing the stressors that impact their mental, emotional and relational health.
Neal Mitchell, a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern at Ibisanmi Relational Health says, “Men in general, and Black Men in particular, are taught to "not put your business out in the street" and to not show weakness or vulnerability.” He adds, “This culminates in men keeping many things to themself and not feeling comfortable with reaching out for help. Instead, they let things fester inside of them and keep those closest to them at arm's length so as to not appear weak or unable to take care of business.”
Top Five Stressors Black Men Face
According to Mitchell, there are multiple stressors that impact Black men but he provides a general list of 5 questions Black men face that can lead to feelings of uncertainty and stress.
1. How can I provide for the family and self in this economy?
2. How can I be the protector of my family and self in this sociocultural reality that is focused on our collective disempowerment?
3. Where is this country headed as a whole, and what will be our place in it (ie: erosion of Civil rights, the loss of hard fought gains in terms of voting and affirmative action, et al.)?
4. What is our "value" as a man when our women are beginning to outperform us in terms of education and compensation?
5. How can I project strength and be depended upon and ask for help at the same time?
Stress Puts Black Men at a Disproportionate Health Risk
When the many unanswered questions pile up, so does the stress and because Black men are often taught “not to whine” or complain about their problems and “man up,” much of the stress they experience sadly goes unaddressed.
Unaddressed stress can lead to trapping tension in the body which can lead to poor physical health outcomes as well. According to the American Physiological Association, stress can impact all systems of the body. They record research that proves “ long-term ongoing stress can increase the risk for hypertension, heart attack, or stroke.”
According to the The National Library of Medicine, Black men develop risk factors for hypertension and hypertension-related conditions (eg, chronic kidney disease) earlier than White men,
Social and Generational Narratives Need to Change
For many men, the "success" of hiding complex emotions is an intrinsic part of how "manly" they hope they will appear to others. While there is some change and progress being made to correct this, it is still very prevalent because previous generations counted on these tools to survive and project strength that was the foundation of hope.
Until social and cultural narratives change, Black men will have to work hard at writing new narratives about Black maleness, wholeness, and health.
What Black Men Can Do
As a Black man, it is essential to prioritize your mental well-being and find practical ways to manage stress. Here are some stress-busting tips specifically tailored to your needs:
Make use of available resources: “Their significant others, their friends, their families (provided of course they are not the cause of their stress) can provide the support they may be lacking if they are able to open up and give them the opportunity,” says Mitchell. “If not, then more intimate conversations in places where they feel comfortable (like barbershops, churches, mosques, bars, etc.) can provide those opportunities where men can feel secure enough to let their guard down.
Cultivate a support network: Build a community of individuals who understand and can empathize with your experiences. Connect with other Black men through support groups, social organizations, or professional networks. This network can offer a safe space to share your feelings, challenges, and triumphs. Engaging in open and honest discussions can be cathartic and provide you with a sense of understanding and camaraderie.
Prioritize self-care: Take time to care for yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Find activities that bring you joy and provide a break from daily stressors. This can include hobbies, exercise, mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga, listening to music, or indulging in self-care rituals such as taking relaxing baths or reading books. Setting aside regular time for self-care allows you to recharge and rejuvenate, ultimately improving your overall well-being and resilience against stress.
Seek Therapy: Michell says therapy is an opportunity for men to address those aspects of themselves that they have spent a lifetime disregarding and hiding from. “Whether through trauma or training, therapy can help Black Men get at the root of understanding who they are and how forces outside of themselves have influenced how they perceive the world and their place in it. Through therapy, men can learn how to show up better in their relationships and for themselves.”
Remember, each individual's experience is unique, and it's important to find what works best for you in managing stress. By implementing these practical stress-busting tips, you can actively take control of your mental health and lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.
And if you need support, reach out to Ibisanmi Relational Health therapists who are trained and skilled professionals who can provide culturally affirming support.
Book a free 15-minute consultation here.
And, be sure to follow IG at @ibisanmi.relational for mental health check ins, tips, and inspirational posts.
