The Grief Toll of Breast Cancer Hits Different During a Pandemic
By Yolande Clark-Jackson
You either know someone who has fought breast cancer or you know someone who fought beside someone with it. And, if you have lost a loved one to breast cancer, you know all too well the grief that follows. There is sadness, but there is also anger. If you have lost someone to breast cancer, you want to know why. Why didn’t the treatment work? Why haven’t they found a cure yet? Why my friend, cousin, mother, auntie or sister? It is normal to question why and to experience a range of emotions when someone you care about dies. It is normal to grieve what we have lost.
Each year one and eight women are diagnosed with breast cancer. And, according to The National Library of Medicine, Black women are twice as likely to die from breast cancer than white women regardless of the stage of the cancer. This disparity is scary. And, although rare, men can also be diagnosed with breast cancer, and some do not survive their diagnosis.
Each October a pink ribbon reminds us of the impact the disease has made on families and communities. But, because of various medical and social disparities, Black communities are hit the hardest. And, for the past two years, the pandemic has increased the grief around breast cancer and has taken a toll on those battling the disease as well as their caregivers. It has taken a toll on the communities in which they belong.
The Pandemic Makes Matters Worse
The pandemic has taken away so much of what used to be normal, but in 2020 it also took away the ability for some to feel safe to leave the house to get mammograms. Most didn’t want to go out of their home to the grocery store, so it is unlikely those same people would want to risk getting covid to see if they could possibly have cancer.
As of October of 2021, worldwide over 4 million people have died from Covid-19. Most of us have already lost family members, friends, or coworkers to coronavirus, and we are still grieving those losses, so the added fear and grief around receiving a cancer diagnosis could reel someone into emotional distress.
Treatment for Breast Cancer Often Leads to Adverse Effects
Those who receive a breast cancer diagnosis have to receive treatment. This involves either chemotherapy or radiation which often equals side effects that are both physical and emotional. The changes that happen in the body and mind can add additional stress on an entire family. Those who fall into depression and experience feelings of hopelessness often lose the desire and ability to take good care of themselves. According to the American Psychological Association, research shows that women with depression are less likely to survive a breast cancer diagnosis. Depression takes a toll on an entire family. Those who care for loved ones with a breast cancer diagnosis also need emotional support.
Caregivers Need Support Too
When you care for a loved one battling cancer, you already begin feeling grief for the loss of the way things used to be. You grieve the loss of the time before the diagnosis, the appointments, and the fear. You know you need to be strong for your loved one, but you don’t always feel strong. You often feel exhausted with fear and worry. If you are a caregiver, you may be working to manage feelings of stress and waves of sadness. You may need support to help you maintain your mental and emotional health. You may need help finding the right language and tools to support your loved ones when they are feeling scared, frustrated, or sad. You may also need to seek out professional help and call on your community for support.
What We Can Do in Our Own Communities
As a community, there are things we can do to support our friends and loved ones battling breast cancer.
We can acknowledge that our friend or loved one is experiencing a difficult time and that it is compounded by living in a pandemic
We can listen. Sometimes being a good listener when someone is experiencing feelings of overwhelm can be the support our friends or loved one need at the moment.
We can encourage them to seek mental health services so they can get the long-term and consistent professional support they need to help get them through.
This month, as we raise awareness about breast cancer, let us remember those who are in the fight for their lives during one of the most difficult times in our history. And, let us remember to celebrate breast cancer survivors and their loved ones who support them.
At Ibisanmi Relational Health we are here to support you and your loved one affected by breast cancer. Book a 15-minute consultation here.
And, be sure to follow us on IG at @ibisanmi.relational for mental health check ins and inspirational posts.
