Finding a Mentor Could Be The Best Decision You Make All Year
Mentoring relationships can be key to helping you get to your next level.
By Yolande Clark-Jackson
Kids without strong family role models are often referred to mentorship programs to fill the gap. But if you’re an adult, many don’t think to make the same recommendation. But they should. Because our relationships with our family and friends are the most important relationships in helping us feel seen and supported, they can also make a big impact on our mental and relational health. And when these relationships are not healthy ones or filled with trauma, we can find ourselves constantly being triggered by their words and actions. Choosing a mentor could be instrumental in filling a gap in both your personal and professional life. This year, you should consider adding a mentor to your support team, so you can reap the benefits.
January is national mentorship month, and we want to put a spotlight on how the influence of a good mentor can benefit you, no matter how old you are.
What is a mentor?
“A mentor is a person who aligns you with action,” says Geomara Flores. Flores is currently a MFT intern at Ibisanmi Relational Health. Because an apprentice plays a similar role to a mentee, Flores knows first hand about the value of a mentor. She also understands how mentors play a very different role than friends and family. She says all relationships can help us see ourselves and can impact our sense of self worth, but a mentor has the emotional distance that allows us to listen to the “hard truths” we need to hear to grow or achieve our goals.
Mentors can fill a gap, inspire, or provide opportunities that would be hard to find otherwise. They may even be instrumental in improving your relational health.
How Can You Find a Mentor
Potential mentors could be closer than we think. If there is someone in your community, your church, job, or school that is doing something you want to do, this may be a possible mentor to help you get the skills, information, or connections you need to move forward. Start by stating that you are seeking a mentor let them know you thought of them first. Only then will you know what’s possible.
In her book Lead from the Inside Stacey Abrams, former candidate for Georgia Governor says before we seek out a mentor we should know exactly what we want and expect from them. She suggests before seeking out a mentor, that we do a bit of soul searching. She says this can be hard because we want to see ourselves in the best light, which makes it hard to ask for the kind of mentoring we need. “Yet, without knowing ourselves, we cannot appreciate how to seek support or to effectively use what might be offered,” says Abrams.
Different Types of Mentors
There are many types of mentors that could benefit you on the road to self development or career advancement.
An Elder: An elder who has a lot of life experience could be a great mentor for helping you navigate the challenges you're facing in life. This could be an elder in your family or in someone else’s. The wisdom gained from overcoming should never be taken for granted.
A Supporter: I recently saw a IG post that said “Those who want to see you win, will help you win.” Look out for your biggest supporter that sends you links, says positive things about you to others and offers advice that can help you move up in your career.
A Master: Anyone that is a master of a craft or domain can be a mentor for you in that craft or domain. If you can find someone who has many years under their belt doing what you want to learn. Find a master, they can do a lot more than point you in the right direction, they can show you how it's done.
A Peer: We often don’t think a peer can be a mentor, but if a professional peer understands the workplace dynamic better than you, or navigates it better, then they can be a mentor.
A Mentee: Sometimes the teacher becomes the student. As we mentor others, we often learn things about ourselves and our communication style that needs to change in order for us to be more effective.
Still don’t know if you need a mentor? Ask us.
If you need help identifying what a mentor could do for you or if you have a mentor relationship that isn’t working, our therapists at Ibisanmi could support you with this and much more. Reach out to us. Start by booking a free 15-minute consultation here.
And, be sure to follow on IG at @ibisanmi.relational for mental health check ins and inspirational posts.
