Yolande Clark-Jackson
It’s hard to overstate how important it is to protect our children and help them navigate life’s challenges. Some children are dealing with trauma or facing difficult circumstances far outside their control. They need their parents, but they also need a community of adults they can turn to when they need them. But how do we support and protect our children without losing ourselves in the process? How can we ensure we have the emotional and mental bandwidth to be patient and present?
If you have a full-time job that demands a lot of your time and energy, taking care of yourself is even more difficult. According to the American Psychological Association, burnout from work deeply impacts parenting. It can increase stress, cause fatigue, create sleep problems or even lead to substance abuse. Combine stress from work with the impact of systematic racism, economic challenges, caring for multiple children, or having to parent alone, and you’ll find a parent(s) with a very limited capacity.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “You can’t draw water from an empty well.” Well, you can’t pour from an empty cup either. If you are working to love and support your children or other people’s children, you have to make sure you are taking good care of yourself. Here’s how:
Give yourself a “Time out”
We put kids on time out as a form of discipline, but giving ourselves a time out can be a form of self preservation. Try 5 minutes behind a closed door when feeling overwhelmed or stressed to give yourself the reset button you need at the moment.
Find a relaxing hobby
Developing a hobby like drawing, knitting, crocheting, or coloring can be done with your child or in front of your child to create calm and model options that teach your child ways to calm down too. Research shows that coloring not only reduces stress but sparks creativity.
Maintain a journal
Getting things out of your head and onto a page may be a good way to process emotions and relieve stress. Keeping a daily journal may help you express yourself and prevent you from bottling up your emotions. Journaling also has proven mental and physical health benefits.
Find healthy self-soothing activities
There is a difference between a self-care habit or routine and a self-soothing activity. Find a self-soothing activity like taking a walk, taking a bubble bath, or giving yourself a massage to help calm your nerves and nurture yourself. Self-soothing activities can be whatever you feel you need at the time.
Phone a friend
If you have good friends you can talk and laugh with, then give them a call when feeling stressed, isolated or both. Sharing your struggles with friends, however, requires being vulnerable and letting people know you’re in need. Oftentimes people don’t want to share their struggles publicly or “let everybody know their business,” but looking strong and suffering in silence may make feelings of isolation worse.
Reach out to a professional
Talking to a mental health professional can provide a private and safe space to talk about the things you don’t feel comfortable sharing with family and friends. A licensed mental health practitioner can help you come up with a plan to manage your emotions and improve your mental and relational health.
At Ibisanmi Relational Health we are here to support parents and caregivers of children. We know how important your job is and want you to be part of your self-care plan so you can have what you need to be the best for the children you love.
Book a 15-minute consultation here.
And, be sure to follow us on IG at @ibisanmi.relational for mental health check ins and inspirational posts. Sometimes the right words come just at the right time.
