A Year Round Celebration of Black Love: Relational Health Matters
By Christiana Ibilola Awosan, PhD LMFT
As I sit in front of my computer to write Ibisanmi Relational Health’s first blog in the month that we celebrate Black History and Black Love, I can’t help but think about the trials and tribulations our ancestors and elders endured in a world that saw them less than human and unworthy of love and strong familial relationships. Yet, even in the worst of times, relationships were formed, and they aided in the protection and survival of our people. Black love endured, despite the obstacles. It endured, even when it was not considered legitimate, real, strong or even possible.
A few years ago when I was working on my dissertation on Black romantic relationships processes and experiences, I spent many nights in tears, sadness, rage and amazement of my ancestors. As I poured through the narratives of enslaved Black men and women, I understood the enormous fears and realities of separation that led to the denial of many to form loving romantic and familiar relationships. The cruelty of whiteness through the system of slavery worked to strip their humanity and deprive them of the dignity of human connection with those they loved.
The impacts of such brutality continue to ripple consciously and unconsciously in the ways that we build and nurture our love with each other within Black communities. As if building and sustaining human connection is not difficult enough, the generational and present-day trauma of racism adds an additional burden to protecting and sustaining our love for one another.
Acknowledging our history and continuing the struggle to keep Black Love alive is work that needs to be done daily, not just in the month of February. Black Love is resilience! Struggling to cultivate and maintain Black Love, in a world that viewed and continues to treat this love of ours as less than, not deep enough, or wide enough, takes courage and intentional dedication.
Every day we are reminded that we need to protect, cheer and nurture this Black Love. This month we’re remembering and celebrating our ancestors' contributions to a country that undermined their humanity. Let us, their progeny, live out Black history every day as we focus on our relationships with each other. We need to celebrate our joys, hopes, laughter and dreams. We need to affirm that the struggles of our ancestors to cultivate and maintain their love wasn’t in vain—because we are still here!
Let us continue to speak the truth and live out the reality that their lives, their love, our lives, and our love matter. Black History. Black Love. Every Hour. All Day. All Year!
